A Country Founded by Geniuses but Run by Idiots

Attributed to Jeff Foxworthy:

If you can get arrested for hunting or fishing without a license, but not for entering and remaining in the country illegally — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If you have to get your parents’ permission to go on a field trip or to take an aspirin in school, but not to get an abortion — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If you MUST show your identification to board an airplane, cash a check, buy liquor, or check out a library book and rent a video, but not to vote for who runs the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If the government wants to prevent stable, law-abiding citizens from owning gun magazines that hold more than ten rounds, but gives twenty F-16 fighter jets to the crazy new leaders in Egypt — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If, in the nation’s largest city, you can buy two 16-ounce sodas, but not one 24-ounce soda, because 24-ounces of a sugary drink might make you fat — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If an 80-year-old woman or a three-year-old girl who is confined to a wheelchair can be strip-searched by the TSA at the airport, but a woman in a burka or a hijab is only subject to having her neck and head searched — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If your government believes that the best way to eradicate trillions of dollars of debt is to spend trillions more — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If a seven-year-old boy can be thrown out of school for saying his teacher is “cute,” but hosting a sexual exploration or diversity class in grade school is perfectly acceptable — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If hard work and success are met with higher taxes and more government regulation and intrusion, while not working is rewarded with Food Stamps, WIC checks, Medicaid benefits, subsidized housing, and free cell phones — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If the government’s plan for getting people back to work is to provide incentives for not working, by granting 99 weeks of unemployment checks, without any requirement to prove that gainful employment was diligently sought, but couldn’t be found — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If you pay your mortgage faithfully, denying yourself the newest big-screen TV, while your neighbor buys iPhones, time shares, a wall-sized do-it-all plasma screen TV and new cars, and the government forgives his debt when he defaults on his mortgage — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

If being stripped of your Constitutional right to defend yourself makes you more “safe” according to the government — you might live in a nation that was founded by geniuses but is run by idiots.

What a country!

How about we give God a reason to continue blessing America!

Shopping with GG... Oy Vay!

Just for the record... I despise shopping. Wholeheartedly, undeniably, hate it, loath it with every. fiber. of. my. being. And my daughter loves it. *sob*

For some reason, whenever GG needs to go shopping for "just a few things" it always turns into a full day, half the night and several hundred dollars worth of merchandise. By the time I drag myself into the house, I'm tired, sore, and broke again. But, this is her Senior year and my husband and I knew it would be expensive, sooo...

So far, I've purchased the requisite Homecoming dress, shoes and hairdo. Then there was the Senior cruise to Cozumel... that I was told I couldn't go under any circumstances that they had enough chaperons and all the required cruise clothes and shoes.

Then this past weekend we made a flying trip to the mall for a Prom dress. Thank you sweet baby Jesus we had already purchased shoes! She had found the dress online at Dillards, so we went and picked it up... after trying it on, along with fifty bajillion six other dresses. We left at 4 pm and got home that night at 11 pm. Now we just have to get jewelry and hair done... and a date. She STILL doesn't have a date!

It will take me half the year to pay off my poor credit cards. Poor, poor things.

Ack! Update: she now has a date! Yay, maybe now peace will reign in my house again... Until the next shopping expedition anyway. *sigh*

I did not write this, but I believe it needs to be said and shared... over and over again.



WAL-MART VS. THE MORONS (NOT A JOKE)

I know lots of folks don't like Wal-Mart, but this is fascinating.

This is spot-on.

PLEASE, READ THIS TO THE END. IT IS VERY INTERESTING!!!

Wal-Mart vs. The Morons

1. Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.

2. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick's Day (March
17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target +Sears + Costco

K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people, is the world's largest private
employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the world.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger and Safeway combined, and
keep in mind they did this in only fifteen years.

8. During this same period, 31 big supermarket chains sought
bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are
Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had five years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur
at Wal-Mart stores. (Earth's population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within fifteen miles of a Wal-Mart.
You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground
work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart
to fix the economy.

This should be read and understood by all Americans… Democrats,
Republicans, EVERYONE!!

To President Obama and all 535 voting members of the Legislature,
it is now official that the majority of you are corrupt morons:

a. The U.S. Postal Service was established in 1775. You have had 234
years to get it right and it is broke.

b. Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to
get it right and it is broke.

c. Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get
it right and it is broke.

d. War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it
right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to
"the poor" and they only want more.

e. Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44
years to get it right and they are broke.

f. Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get
it right and it is broke.

g. The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our
dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of
$24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get
it right and it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every "government service" you have shoved down our
throats while overspending our tax dollars.

AND YOU WANT AMERICANS TO BELIEVE YOU CAN BE TRUSTED
WITH A GOVERNMENT-RUN HEALTH CARE SYSTEM??

Folks, keep this circulating. It is very well stated. Maybe it will end
up in the e-mails of some of our "duly elected' (they never read anything)
and their staff will clue them in on how Americans feel.

AND

I know what's wrong. We have lost our minds to "Political Correctness"
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone please tell me what is wrong with all the people that
run this country!!!!!!

We're "broke" and can't help our own Seniors, Veterans, Orphans, Homeless
etc. and the last months we have provided aid to Haiti, Chile, and Turkey and now
Pakistan ( the previous home of bin Laden). literally, BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!!

Our retired seniors living on a 'fixed income' receive no aid nor do
they get any breaks.

AMERICA: a country where we have homeless without shelter, children
going to bed hungry, elderly going without needed medicines, and mentally ill
without treatment, etc.

Imagine if the GOVERNMENT gave U. S. the same support they give to
other countries. Sad isn't it?

Socialism

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had never failed a single student before, but had recently failed an entire class. That class had insisted that Obama's socialism worked and that no one would be poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class on Obama's plan".. All grades will be averaged and everyone will receive the same grade so no one will fail and no one will receive an A.... (substituting grades for dollars - something closer to home and more readily understood by all).

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B. The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied little were happy. As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.
When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

As the tests proceeded, the scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of anyone else.

To their great surprise, ALL FAILED and the professor told them that socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great, the effort to succeed is great, but when government takes all the reward away, no one will try or want to succeed. Could not be any simpler than that. (Please pass this on) These are possibly the 5 best sentences you'll ever read and all applicable to this experiment:

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity by legislating the wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it!

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other half gets the idea that it does no good to work because somebody else is going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any nation.

Can you think of a reason for not sharing this?
Neither could I.

The Most Sincere Form of Flattery My Ever Expanding Patooty.

When my daughter first started raiding my closet several years back, I thought "Oh, how flattering. I'm a cool mom." I've since changed my mind.

I've come to realize, she's doing it so she won't have to dig through piles of clothes in her room (I have enough trouble keeping the rest of the house clean... I'm not cleaning her room for her) to find something to wear. The problem is, she grabs my work clothes.

We basically wear the same size, except for pants. She wouldn't wear mine anyway... I don't care to show my drawers to the public. Not that she does! GG, my daughter, dresses very modestly compared to some girls her age. She covers all the necessary bits, although she does show leg... Lots of leg. For someone who's only 5'5" she has a LOT of leg... Or it seems that way. No, she doesn't grab my pants because, ahem... Of the ever expanding patooty. Mine, not hers. Unfortunately...

GG stands for lil' goth girl. When she was younger she went through a stage of dressing in dark clothing. She's never really cared for bright clothing like some girls. But, I figured she's intelligent (cumulative 4.0 since kindergarten) never in trouble, in church every time the doors open, never gave me the grief my son did... So I pick my battles. She's expressing herself. Leave her be.

As I suspected, it was a stage she was going through. Amen. If I had to see another black "everything" on that child, I was gonna scream. Seriously. Add a little color. Lipstick. Eyeshadow. A T-shirt that has red on it. Something. She just bought a pair of shoes for Homecoming that are very bright and have four different colors on them. Gianni Bini, you are my hero!

And now, she's entered the "lets-raid-Mom's-closet-to-keep from-cleaning-my-room-stage." Not cool. Not cool at all. Now I have nothing to wear. Please tell me I'm not the only mom in this sinking boat?

I honestly don't know where she gets the black is the ONLY color out there. I do have a few shirts and sweaters in colors, and I've recently (well, since the patooty has started expanding to the size of Texas) discovered leopard print. Okay, so I stick to solid colors for the most part. It doesn't mean SHE has to... for goodness sake, she's YOUNG! She's not a crone, yet.

Waiting

Waiting, waiting, waiting. I've spent most of my life waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting on my kids, my husband, the house to clean itself. Hey, a girl can wish, can't I?

Right now, I'm waiting to go to a photo shoot. My daughter, GG is the model and she's working with a new photographer today. Since I had quite a few things to take care of in town, I told her I would go with her, but we needed to leave by a certain time. Well, that time has come and gone. So now I'm waiting. Impatiently.

Why does my child procrastinate so? She knows how snippy I get when things don't happen the way I think they should. I'm impatient, sue me. Wait, I've already said that, didn't I. Well, it bears repeating. So I'm waiting.

And waiting...

Menopause VS Puberty

All my life I have frozen to death at any temperature below 80 degrees. I sleep in socks, keep a blanket on the bed year round and threaten the life of anyone who adjusts the thermostat below 75 degrees. So when I had my first hot flash about 12 years ago, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I was in such a full-soaking-wet-with-sweat meltdown I could have easily entered a wet t-shirt contest. Notice I didn't say I'd win it... you kind of need big hooters for that, and my girls... well, yeah, they're not. Big, I mean.

Ahem, anyhoo... I blew it off. Yes, I did turn the thermostat down for a few minutes until I cooled off. I was soaking wet so it didn't take long before I was freezing again. At first, I thought I was getting sick. I couldn't afford to get sick. I was the office manager for my husband's business, which was booming at that time, so I couldn't take off more than a day at a time. Then... it happened again. Hooboy! And again. Three times in one day. Yep, it was official. I was dying sick. I had some kind of extremely rare incurable disease. I mean... come on, I freeze at temps below 80 and here I was having meltdowns throughout the day. More than once a day. I. Was. Dying.

How was I going to prepare my children, my husband, my family. I had already gone through cervical cancer four years before I got pregnant with my daughter and had pre-cancerous lumps removed from both breasts when she was eight years old and then again at nine. Maybe it was some weird new symptom of cancer. I worried about cancer because my father died when I was 25 from a terminal glioblastoma multiform aka brain tumor. So yeah, I worry about cancer, up to a point. I mean... no one gets out of life alive, you know. We all die. I just wasn't ready to melt like Frosty the Snowman, there's the sweat "ick" factor involved. I'm from the South and women down here don't sweat... we "glow". Okay... we sweat, we just call it glowing, it sounds more... genteel.

Unbeknownst to me, I was the winning contestant on the Peri-menopause Wheel of Life. Three years worth. Then, my son got on drugs, my mom developed the same type of brain tumor my dad died from, our business quit booming and fell off drastically... Menopause and the hot flashes really kicked in. I came very close to having a nervous breakdown. Seriously. The day I dropped to my knees in our office sobbing so hard I couldn't catch my breath was the day my husband told me something had to be done. Immediately!

I scheduled a checkup with my doctor and explained what was going on. She gave me drugs. Lots of drugs. Three different kinds at the strongest dose she could give me. They didn't help. After we realized the medication wasn't helping my husband suggested I stop taking them. So I did. Bless his little pea-picking heart. I think I threatened bodily harm to every family member I have and some people who were complete strangers. This was NOT me (my daughter wholeheartedly disagrees with this statement - she lies. Kidding. Just kidding).

So, I resorted to keeping Popsicles and eating them whenever I would "flash". It helped, somewhat. There were days I'd go through a box of twenty-four Popsicles within hours. I bathed twice a day. I changed clothes twice a day. That did NOT include during the night. I couldn't sleep. I would do good to get a couple hours sleep a night. Aaand, I stank. I stank like a been-dead-lying-on-the-side-of-the-road-for-a-week-blowfly-covered boar hog. Menopause sweat smells worse than any boy's locker room you've ever encountered, including grungy socks left in lockers over the summer break.

About this time, my daughter, GG ('lil Goth Girl) started going through puberty. OMG! Can you say "drama queen?" She was dying. Just dying. No seriously, this child had debilitating cramps so bad she would curl up in a ball screaming moaning and groaning. I have never seen the like! I didn't have this "Aunt Flo", "Surfing the tide", "On the dot", "Santa", "Alien baby", "Psycho" type of visit from Mother Nature. Midol became her best friend. She would pop them until she couldn't feel her legs, but she stopped screaming moaning and groaning as much. I bought stock in the company. Overnight my sweet precious baby became Chucky's Bride. She talked back. She was rebellious. She came close to dying. By my hand.

Then she had a five centimeter cyst on her ovary removed and her doctor prescribed birth control pills to prevent another from developing. The traumatizing visits from "Aunt Flo" subsided... slightly. Hallelujah! I sold some stock in Midol and purchased stock in BC pills.

We still have the occasional drama at our house. Not as much as there was previously... only now, it's my husband who's the drama queen.